Most people know Randy Newman as “that guy” who usually shows up on the Oscars singing some sappy song from the latest Pixar hit (e.g. “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” from Toy Story).
But we here at the Ted Lilly Fan Club know him more from his 1983 opus, “I Love LA” which is somewhat of a counter song to Cubbie favorite, “Go Cubs Go” (ably sung by everyone’s favorite Steve Goodman).
And, frankly, in response to that song and Ted’s trade today to the LA Dodgers, we feel like Randy Newman is full of sh*t. Why?
Five reasons why the TLFC Hates This Trade, Randy Newman, LA:
First off, in the song, he actually rips Chicago in opening lines, “Let’s leave Chicago to the Eskimos…That town’s a little bit too rugged” so Newman, in fact, is admitting that he’s a lightweight and can’t handle a little honest, blue collar weather (hint: Ted Lilly can)
Second, the Dodgers had their chance with Ted back in 1996 when they wisely drafted him in the 23rd Round (Ted asked to be
drafted in this round out of respect for Michael Jordan–the only other man who’s level of competiveness matches TLs). Reminds us of the “Simpsons” episode when Artie Ziff, after dumping Marge in high school, becomes a millionaire later in life and unsuccessfully attempts to woo Marge back. She (like Ted will do w/ LA) only hangs out with him out of pity for a little bit. Long analogy? Yep…but that’s what copious amounts of Sanka will do to a Fan Club. Speaking of Sanka…
Third, no one in LA drinks Sanka (official coffee-like beverage of the Ted Lilly Fan Club). Everyone drinks fancy smancy coffee that cost a fortune and are made from real bits of aborginal Indians from coffee producing regions around the world (marketed as “organic”)
Fourth, with all the unrest in the LA Dodgers organizations (e.g. owners in midst of divorce, underperforming stars like Kemp, the addition of former ChiSox D’Bag Scotty Posednik), we think that this move is as much about asking Ted to conduct team therapy sessions as it is about his crafty Lillyhammer out-pitch. TLFC no likey at all.
And, finally, the Ted Lilly Fan Club (the official unofficial home of Ted Lilly) HATES LA. We hate the city, hate the apathetic fans, hate that they re-made “90210″ w/ no Dylan or Steve Sanders (Mrs. TLFC asked us to include that one), hate the smog, hate the traffic, hate the urban sprawl, hate recent seasons of “Curb“, etc. etc. etc.
No idea what this trade means for the Ted Lilly Fan Club…maybe we pack up the TLFC-branded Airstream RV and head west? maybe we go “Sopranos” black? maybe, as above poll suggests, we should vomit repeatedly? Time will tell, TedHeads….keep the faith, we’ll keep drinking.
Source: http://tedlillyfanclub.blogspot.com/2010/07/ted-lilly-traded-randy-newman-is-full.html